Now please enjoy me laughing at myself

Wipe it up with rags or kitchen paper - this is very messy and runs the risk of rubbing the blood deeper into the concrete.Squirt dishwashing liquid into it, wait for this to emulsify the blood, then hose it away - this, again, is very messy, and environmentally unfriendly to boot -  all that blood and detergent running into your garden? No thanks.

A far better way to attack that puddle is to dust it heavily with some sort of absorbent material, allow this to soak up the blood for a day or two, then remove the debris with a spade or brush and pan.

Materials you can use for this purpose include: cat litter (though the coarseness of the grains does not provide for the best possible contact with the floor), fullers earth, garden lime, sawdust and cement powder.